I’ve been struggling recently with making friends post-university, and this piece was a godsend (thanks, Rachel!)
I’ve realised two things, the first of which should’ve been obvious to me in retrospect, the second more non-obvious. The first is that learning to make friends in the adult world is naturally more complicated, due to the lack of common social spaces (covered in more detail in this post) - I just didn’t realise that the way friends are made have also changed so much in this new world.
I’ll need to adapt.
Second, this problem seems to most adversely affect (and appears to be a natural consequence of belonging to) the set of people who can work anywhere in the world. It’s not that difficult to find friends if you’re working in the same city that you attended high school or university in. This is not a problem for Singaporeans working in Singapore, for instance. But it is a problem if you move elsewhere to work (as I’m wont to do at least a couple of times in my career); it’s even worse if you move between countries, and timezones.
Friendship is something that rarely gets mentioned when we talk about globalised workers, the ones who can afford to work wherever they want. It’s something you only realise when you’re living it.